Since no one reads this except for people looking for pictures of Kathryn-Jean Lopez or gay cats, I may as well complain about Justice Kennedy's certifiably stupid justification for upholding the partial-birth abortion ban (Gonzales v. Carhart).

(1) Arguing that removing fetuses from the womb intact (partial-birth abortion) is objectively worse than removing them piece by piece (which procedure has no pithy, heartstring-tugging nickname) because they look more like babies is wholly corrupt, whether you're pro-life or pro-choice. What the fetus looks like coming out should really make no difference.

2) Arguing that the procedure is never necessary to protect a woman's health, but maybe necessary to save her life, is absurd.

3) Marching out the paternalistic ole saving-women-from-their-own-regret, bond-of-love-between-a-woman-and-her-child shibboleth is plain infuriating. By which I mean, thank God the Supreme Court of the United States has the fortitude to protect my fragile, hormonal self from my own potential future regret (in the unlikely event that my health, but not life, is in danger)!

4) On another note, why does my uterus fall under the category of "interstate commerce"?

There are all varieties of despicable people who post at The Corner. There's John Derbyshire, who is best described as a homely Humbert Humbert:

Derbyshire is best known for admitting he's sexually attracted to fifteen-year-olds 'cause women are too old and wrinkly by the time they're twenty, and also for saying that the U.S. should nuke the middle east. Even so, I think Derbyshire is probably the most likeable Corner-ite because unlike most posters, he is frequently amusing. Also unlike most posters, he isn't religious and doesn't ignore blatant scientific facts. That has got to count for something.

Most of all, though, I think that Derbyshire is likeable relative to such wankstas as the god-awful Kathryn Jean Lopez, also known annoyingly as K-Lo:

K-Lo is so thick that she continued to predict that Rick Santorum would win against Bob Casey, even on election night when polls showed Casey with a roughly 20-point lead. And then, as soon as he acknowledged defeat (thereby enabling the taking of this hilarious photo), she started proposing Santorum (whose name means this) as abassador the UN! Santorum as vice president in 2008! Hell--why not Santorum as president in 2008? Who better than a puritan 18-pt-loser douchebag ex-senator to lead the US boldly into perpetual ignominy, anyway?

One of my favorite things she ever wrote was the "libertarian case" for Santorum, which would have been perfect satire if it were indeed satirical. Sadly I can't find it--maybe the magazine's editors were so embarrassed by it that they took it off--but the gist of it was, "I know you libertarians don't want government meddling in your affairs, but THINK ABOUT IT--if bold social-conservative mavericks like Santorum do a really good job of regulating your life absolutely, then they'll take away the need for programs and regulations because bad things like divorce and single parenthood and drugs and abortions are the cause of social ills, so by getting rid of them we'll have no more need for government interference. Right?"

Also funny was her inability to understand why people might be suspicious of Bush's having nominated an anti-contraception crusader as the director of family planning for Health and Human Services. 'Cause family planning is all about NOT planning, doye. That or abstinence. I think K-Lo might know a thing or two about abstinence.

Other things that you ought to know about Kathryn Jean Lopez are: (1) She idolizes Mitt Romney, doomed Mormon sacred-underwear-wearing conservative presidential candidate, in much the same crushy way that 13-year old San Diegan girls idolized Justin Timberlake in 1999; (2) She constantly froths at the mouth over stem cells, and I seem to recall her having said that embryonic stem cell research is even more dangerous than the threat of Islamist extremism--and we know how the far right feels about Islamist extremism; and (3) As should surprise no one, she is a shrill pro-lifer.

Anyway, I think the reason why I started explaining about The Corner and K-Lo was because I came upon this post of hers and noticed that it could be transcribed word-for-word onto a non Christian crazy's blog--mine, for instance--and be instantly snarkish.

Look:

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Correction: Apparently the correct title of the newspaper is National Review, not The National Review, so I have corrected my error.

That said, my cats are totally gay:

gross!

There are much less fuzzy, much more homosexual pictures of my cats, but they are not on hand so this will have to do for now.

Actually I hope this site starts showing up as the #1 hit for images of gay cats; that would be pretty cool.

1. Wealthy?
2. Violently allergic to cats?
3. Nuts about cats and cursing fate for making you allergic to them?

Then this product is for you!

Buy your hyperallergenic kitten today, and also scroll through the unnecessarily long "cat facts" window on the side, where you will learn trivia such as "cats respond best to names that end with '-ee'," which explains why my cats don't know their own names.

There's also this:

"Some notable people who disliked cats: Napoleon Bonaparte, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Hitler." As opposed to the much better people who loved cats: Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln, Florence Nightingale, Buddha, and Mohammed. Obvious conclusion: If you don't like cats, you are a warmonger.

Postscript: I just cleared a bunch of spam from my comments box. I know this doesn't make me unique, but there were several from someone named "semen," as well as links to something called "cute chubby boobs."

Maurice and Sarah had just seen a film adaptation of Maurice's book. He had not liked the way the film had treated his book, but he did like one scene. In it, a married woman and her lover are eating in a restaurant. They order steak and onions. The woman hesitates over eating the onions because her husband, understandably, thinks they smell disgusting. The man is offended that she is thinking of her husband's reaction to her onion-eating.

Afterwards--we were back at Rules and they had just fetched our steaks--she said, 'There was one scene you did write.'

'About the onions?'

'Yes.' And at that very moment a dish of onions was put on the table. I said to her--it hadn't even crossed my mind that evening to desire her--'And does Henry mind onions?'

'Yes. He can't bear them. Do you like them?'

'Yes.' She helped me to them and then helped herself.

Is it possible to fall in love over a dish of onions? It seems improbable and yet I could swear it was just then that I fell in love...I said, 'It's a good steak,' and heard like poetry her reply, 'It's the best I've ever eaten.'

Any affair based on onions deserves to be ended.

But I think this is worth posting, even if everyone has seen it already, because it's so funny/appalling:

Stephen Colbert interviews Congressman Westmoreland.

At the very least, the good Congressman isn't writing laws. As though he could write at all.

Do I have anything to say? Not really, but I'll think of a few things.

1. My mom talks with God. Not to God, mind you--with God. Apparently they engage in two-way conversations. This news alarms me.

2. Onions are seriously out to get me. Last week, I asked for a salad without onions and what did I receive? A salad with EXTRA onions. They were so prevalent that they made the whole Marguerite shuttle reek of rank foulness, so I had to throw the whole thing away and eat ice cream for dinner.

3. Also, I got some beef-and-spinach ravioli from the Italian deli. After spending all the time to fix it up with spicy olive oil sauce and romano and even truffle oil, I bit into it and discovered that it was bursting with onion. Then, I had to eat beans out of a can for dinner.

4. Aguirre: The Wrath of God is awesome, particularly with the director's commentary where Werner Herzog talks about driving Klaus Kinski crazy to the point where he was nearly murdering the cast and crew, and also about stealing 400 monkeys and driving with them through South America.

5. The more time that goes by, the more people per day end up on my site because they're looking for pictures of Himmler.

I'm going back to do work now.

Madonna (huh?)
Julianne Moore
Nicole Kidman
Christina Ricci
Shania Twain, blech
Hilary Swank
Shakira
Kim Novak
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Emma Watson

By the way, I accidentally ran it on one person who was in the background of a picture and it said the only celebrity she resembled was Donald Rumsfeld.

Update: Later, I tested the site on an early eighties picture of Madonna, and it failed to recognize her as herself. Could it be that I bear more resemblance to the "new" Madonna than the old one did, or this so-called "scientifically advanced technology" really nothing more than a random celebrity face generator? I think we all know the answer.

By the way, most of these searches are coming out of Germany and Finland.

2. Ariel Sharon goes and has a massive stroke, leaving Ehud Whatshisname as acting Prime Minister

3. First human bird flu cases confirmed outside of Asia

I mean, not like anyone would read this blog (who wasn't looking for a picture of Himmler) and not already know these things from reading the news, but Jesus.