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December 06, 2006
k-lo, i h8 u so
I am taking a break from work to read The Corner, the ridiculous group blog of institutional conservative magazine National Review.
There are all varieties of despicable people who post at The Corner. There's John Derbyshire, who is best described as a homely Humbert Humbert:
Derbyshire is best known for admitting he's sexually attracted to fifteen-year-olds 'cause women are too old and wrinkly by the time they're twenty, and also for saying that the U.S. should nuke the middle east. Even so, I think Derbyshire is probably the most likeable Corner-ite because unlike most posters, he is frequently amusing. Also unlike most posters, he isn't religious and doesn't ignore blatant scientific facts. That has got to count for something.
Most of all, though, I think that Derbyshire is likeable relative to such wankstas as the god-awful Kathryn Jean Lopez, also known annoyingly as K-Lo:
K-Lo is so thick that she continued to predict that Rick Santorum would win against Bob Casey, even on election night when polls showed Casey with a roughly 20-point lead. And then, as soon as he acknowledged defeat (thereby enabling the taking of this hilarious photo), she started proposing Santorum (whose name means this) as abassador the UN! Santorum as vice president in 2008! Hell--why not Santorum as president in 2008? Who better than a puritan 18-pt-loser douchebag ex-senator to lead the US boldly into perpetual ignominy, anyway?
One of my favorite things she ever wrote was the "libertarian case" for Santorum, which would have been perfect satire if it were indeed satirical. Sadly I can't find it--maybe the magazine's editors were so embarrassed by it that they took it off--but the gist of it was, "I know you libertarians don't want government meddling in your affairs, but THINK ABOUT IT--if bold social-conservative mavericks like Santorum do a really good job of regulating your life absolutely, then they'll take away the need for programs and regulations because bad things like divorce and single parenthood and drugs and abortions are the cause of social ills, so by getting rid of them we'll have no more need for government interference. Right?"
Also funny was her inability to understand why people might be suspicious of Bush's having nominated an anti-contraception crusader as the director of family planning for Health and Human Services. 'Cause family planning is all about NOT planning, doye. That or abstinence. I think K-Lo might know a thing or two about abstinence.
Other things that you ought to know about Kathryn Jean Lopez are: (1) She idolizes Mitt Romney, doomed Mormon sacred-underwear-wearing conservative presidential candidate, in much the same crushy way that 13-year old San Diegan girls idolized Justin Timberlake in 1999; (2) She constantly froths at the mouth over stem cells, and I seem to recall her having said that embryonic stem cell research is even more dangerous than the threat of Islamist extremism--and we know how the far right feels about Islamist extremism; and (3) As should surprise no one, she is a shrill pro-lifer.
Anyway, I think the reason why I started explaining about The Corner and K-Lo was because I came upon this post of hers and noticed that it could be transcribed word-for-word onto a non Christian crazy's blog--mine, for instance--and be instantly snarkish.
Look:
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Correction: Apparently the correct title of the newspaper is National Review, not The National Review, so I have corrected my error.
Posted by onion slayer at December 6, 2006 03:12 PM