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January 23, 2006
filling space
I just felt the need to post here because my site seemed to have gone all blank.
Do I have anything to say? Not really, but I'll think of a few things.
1. My mom talks with God. Not to God, mind you--with God. Apparently they engage in two-way conversations. This news alarms me.
2. Onions are seriously out to get me. Last week, I asked for a salad without onions and what did I receive? A salad with EXTRA onions. They were so prevalent that they made the whole Marguerite shuttle reek of rank foulness, so I had to throw the whole thing away and eat ice cream for dinner.
3. Also, I got some beef-and-spinach ravioli from the Italian deli. After spending all the time to fix it up with spicy olive oil sauce and romano and even truffle oil, I bit into it and discovered that it was bursting with onion. Then, I had to eat beans out of a can for dinner.
4. Aguirre: The Wrath of God is awesome, particularly with the director's commentary where Werner Herzog talks about driving Klaus Kinski crazy to the point where he was nearly murdering the cast and crew, and also about stealing 400 monkeys and driving with them through South America.
5. The more time that goes by, the more people per day end up on my site because they're looking for pictures of Himmler.
I'm going back to do work now.
Posted by onion slayer at 03:32 PM | Comments (2)
January 12, 2006
skeptical
According to this alleged face recognition site, I most closely resemble the following celebrities (in descending order):
Madonna (huh?)
Julianne Moore
Nicole Kidman
Christina Ricci
Shania Twain, blech
Hilary Swank
Shakira
Kim Novak
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Emma Watson
By the way, I accidentally ran it on one person who was in the background of a picture and it said the only celebrity she resembled was Donald Rumsfeld.
Update: Later, I tested the site on an early eighties picture of Madonna, and it failed to recognize her as herself. Could it be that I bear more resemblance to the "new" Madonna than the old one did, or this so-called "scientifically advanced technology" really nothing more than a random celebrity face generator? I think we all know the answer.
Posted by onion slayer at 11:22 AM | Comments (0)
January 10, 2006
missouri sucks
This just might be the dumbest thing I have ever read.
Posted by onion slayer at 03:40 PM | Comments (0)
January 05, 2006
how can it be?
I checked it out, and somehow a link to this site ended up on page 1 of the Google Images search for "Himmler." Apparently, at least ten people in the world look for pictures of Himmler every day, because that's about how many Himmler-searches I get every day. This is kind of creeping me out.
By the way, most of these searches are coming out of Germany and Finland.
Posted by onion slayer at 02:13 PM | Comments (0)
January 04, 2006
news day from hell
1. When they said "12 miners survive, 1 dead," what they actually meant was "1 miner survives in severe condition, 12 dead"
2. Ariel Sharon goes and has a massive stroke, leaving Ehud Whatshisname as acting Prime Minister
3. First human bird flu cases confirmed outside of Asia
I mean, not like anyone would read this blog (who wasn't looking for a picture of Himmler) and not already know these things from reading the news, but Jesus.
Posted by onion slayer at 03:57 PM | Comments (1)
January 03, 2006
a fascinating discovery
I just realized that nearly everyone who visits my site finds it through doing a Google image search for "Himmler" or "action figures."
Posted by onion slayer at 05:06 PM | Comments (0)
memememeemememememe
It seems I've been "tagged."
Seven Things To Do Before I Die
1. Stop having social anxiety disorder
2. Take over the world and outlaw onions
3. Eat foie gras
4. Get in a big screaming fight with my parents
5. Make enough money that I can afford summer homes in different countries
6. Speak at least six languages fluently
7. Calculus, because it is embarrassing that I got through high school (and worse, University) without learning any.
Seven Things I Cannot Do
1. Whistle
2. Eat onions, mayonnaise, bleu cheese, celery, cilantro, ginger, thousand island, ranch dressing, gin, or gristle
3. Hold more than two digits in my head at the same time
4. Chat easily with other people
5. Speak in public
6. Sing
7. Put my head under water
Seven Things That Attract Me To. . . Blogging
1. The fame
2. The fortune
3. The girls
4. The drugs
5. The rock n' roll lifestyle
6. ...
7. Just boredom, actually
Seven Things I Say Most Often
1. "no onions"
2. "um"
3. "I see"
4. "interesting"
5. "Godfuckingdamnit!"
6. "motherfuckers!"
7. "bastards!"
But I am probably wrong about this. I don't often listen to myself.
Seven Books That I Love
1. Borges, collected fiction
2. The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich
3. Lolita
4. James M. Cain, Double Indemnity
5. a World Atlas
6. The Sound and the Fury
7. When I was in grade school I read The Call of the Wild about eight thousand times, back when I thought it was just a story about dogs
Seven Movies That I Watch Over And Over Again
1. Vertigo, but not really on purpose
2. Kill Bill I and II
3. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
4. Blade Runner
5. Blue Velvet
6. Fargo
7. South Park
Seven Songs I Play Over And Over Again
1. "Heartbeats," The Knife
2. "King Rides By" and other Cat Power
3. "Do You Love Me?" and other Nick Cave
4. "Angelene," PJ Harvey
5. "Malaguena Salerosa," Chingon
6. "Baby's On Fire," Brian Eno
7. "Wordy Rappinghood," Tom Tom Club
But I'm sick of listening to songs over and over.
Seven People I Want To Join In Too
1. Ella
2. That's it. I don't think I know anyone else with a blog.
Posted by onion slayer at 04:42 PM | Comments (0)